Thank you, Sharron Gill, for sharing this hilarious update on the famous Abbott and Costello routine “Who’s On First?”
You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too
old to REALLY understand computers to fully appreciate this. For
those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on…
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their famous sketch,
‘Who’s on First? might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking
about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows.. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes..
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes..
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say
I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I
need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue ’W’.
COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue ’w’ if you don’t start with
some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have
anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes.. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on ‘START’……………
A little birdy told me you want to know what this “Community” stuff is you keep hearing about. I promise it’s not scary, at least not as frightening as Data Tracking and Analytics.
A customer who feels happy, appreciated and satisfied is more likely to come back for more, and they will be more likely to spread the word about your brand. This helps you build your reputation.
Email marketing remains one of the most cost-effective forms of marketing, but it can also take up tons of time — unless you’re using email autoresponders. Learn more about autoresponders by
“Are you struggling to get more people to open your marketing emails? Want to discover the proven techniques that make subscribers click and engage with your content every time?”
“Transactional emails have 8x more opens and clicks than any other type of email and can generate 6x more revenue.” Experian What is a transactional email? A message sent to an individual in response to a specific action they took. Amazon’s order confirmation emails. Google’s sign-in alerts. Should you be sending transactional emails to your clients to build your busines?
Yes, you are getting hit with more spam emails and calls — and now spam texts — than at any point in the history of these devices. These messages are frequently dangerous! They often try to steal your data, identity and/or money — and the crooks are getting better and better.